I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
