i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My ass is underappreciated
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize