We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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