My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
