You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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