My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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