So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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