I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
