Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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