Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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