the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
