we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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