names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
