Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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