my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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