Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Drunk is a universal language darling
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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