why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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