you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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