are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
you never un-have a 4some
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
