the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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