At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
