Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize