Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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