Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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