it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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