So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
