Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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