I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
