i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
