clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
