Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
