I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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