I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
