everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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