Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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