I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
