I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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