i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize