Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
