You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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