I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
