and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
