big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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