I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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