Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
