i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
