Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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