Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
