Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
