You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
