I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
