Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
