Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
