i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
