You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
