You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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