Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
