I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Im part way to drunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
