ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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