Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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