I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
