just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
