I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize