my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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