So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
