Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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