PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize