god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
