i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
