i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
