dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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