We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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