3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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